


Daylight

by ForeverShippingJohnlock



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s08e17 Goodbye Stranger, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-26
Updated: 2013-09-26
Packaged: 2017-12-27 16:55:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/981337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverShippingJohnlock/pseuds/ForeverShippingJohnlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place sometime after the events in 8.17 "Goodbye Stranger". In a moment of weakness, Castiel visits a sleeping Dean at the Men of Letters headquarters. Dean wakes up and confronts his angel. Songfic for "Daylight" by Maroon 5.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daylight

 

  _Here I am waiting; I'll have to leave soon._

_Why am I holding on?_

Castiel knew that he shouldn’t be there. It was selfish. He didn’t deserve any semblance of a goodbye after all the damage he had done, but he just couldn’t help himself. He surveyed the sleeping figure on the bed. Castiel found it fascinating that when Dean was asleep, he looked ten years younger. His face, usually masking so much pain and suffering, was serene and peaceful.

Castiel tore his eyes away from the hunter and looked around the simple room that Dean had claimed as his own in the Men of Letters headquarters. A small smile played at the corners of his mouth as he took in the sight of weapons, proudly displayed on the wall. His eyes softened as he noticed a picture of a young and carefree Dean with his mother. When he took a step closer to get a better look at it, the traitorous floor creaked audibly. Castiel froze. He used his grace to manipulate his current state of being to become invisible. Dean groaned softly, waking up.

“Sammy? That you?” Dean asked, rubbing his eyes as he slowly sat up. He opened his eyes to greet an empty room. Castiel held his breath.

“…Cas?” Dean asked quietly.

_We knew this day would come; we knew it all along._   
_How did it come so fast?_

Cas knew he should leave. He should just fly away without looking back. However, as soon as he looked into those forest green eyes filled with such hope he knew he was lost. He sighed slightly at his own weakness, and manifested himself.

“Hello, Dean.” he said meekly, keeping his head down. Before he could work up the courage to make eye contact, he found himself engulfed in a fierce hug. Cas’ eyes flew open in shock and he tensed for a moment before relaxing and tentatively returning the embrace.

“You son-of-a-bitch.” Dean murmured without venom. Cas smiled slightly, coming from Dean that was practically a term of endearment. After a moment, Dean let him go, but kept his hands on his shoulders. Castiel remained silent. He watched, slightly fearful, as the pure relief on Dean’s face quickly gave way to anger and hurt. He gave Cas a sharp shove.

“What the hell, man?! Where were you?! You can’t just disappear on us like that!” Dean cried, his tone demanding an explanation. Cas took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.” Dean rolled his eyes and threw up his hands in frustration.

“That the best you got? You almost freaking killed me Cas and instead of sticking around, you just fly off to God knows where with the angel tablet! I think you’re going to have to do a bit better than ‘I’m sorry’!”

Castiel winced at Dean’s harsh words. Dean must have noticed because his face softened slightly and he lowered his voice.

“I prayed to you man, so many damn times, and you never came.” Cas couldn’t bear to look into those eyes that he knew would be filled with nothing but disappointment. He almost wished that Dean had continued yelling at him; anything would be better than the hurt tone that Dean was now using. Cas swallowed and forced himself to overcome his cowardice and look at Dean. He deserved to feel this pain.

“Words will never be adequate to convey how sorry I am, Dean. You know that Naomi had control over me; I was powerless against her. When I somehow stopped myself from killing you, I knew I needed to leave with the angel tablet right away so that I could prevent it from falling into the wrong hands.” Cas said.

“Why didn’t you come to us, Cas? You know that Sam and I would have done whatever we could to help you.” Dean asked, confused.

“It wasn’t just that, Dean. I- I had no way of knowing if Naomi’s control over me was truly gone. I couldn’t live with myself if I tried to kill you again.” Cas said solemnly. The unspoken _and succeeded_ hung heavy in the air between them.

“I shouldn’t have even come. I’m putting you in danger just by being in your presence.” Castiel said, turning his back to Dean. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

“No, I’m glad you’re here. Just… stay, okay? We’ll figure all this out together, like a family.” Cas’ breath hitched at that word. In heaven, family meant doing one’s duty and obeying orders. Here, with the Winchesters, the word was filled with comfort, warmth, and an unshakable feeling of _home_.

“Dean, I- I can’t.” It was almost painful to refuse Dean’s offer, but Cas knew it was for the best. “I cannot permit myself to put you in harm’s way. Also, the place that I’ve hidden the angel tablet is secure, but it’s too risky to leave it unattended for long.”

“Fine! Just fly off and leave us again; that’s kind of your M.O now isn’t it?!” Dean asked angrily.

“No, Dean it’s not like that. I want to stay, but-“ Cas started to say, but Dean interrupted him.

“Then stay! Just for a little while.” Cas looked into those pleading eyes and, being the selfish being that he was, could not refuse their request. He gave a quick nod and Dean smiled slightly. Dean strode back over to his bed and flopped down on it. Cas stood there awkwardly, not quite sure what to do. Dean patted the empty spot beside him. Castiel walked over and laid himself down carefully next to Dean.

_This is our last night but it's late_   
_And I'm trying not to sleep_   
_Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away._

After a moment, Cas let his hand breach the space between them and let it come to rest beside Dean’s so that they were touching. Dean accepted this silent invitation and wordlessly clasped their hands, lacing their fingers together. They spent hours like that, alternating between comfortable silence and Dean telling Cas what he had missed while he was M.I.A; they talked about everything and nothing. As more and more time passed, Dean’s speech gradually grew slower until it faded into steady breathing and soft snores.

_And when the daylight comes I’ll have to go_   
_But tonight I’m gonna hold you so close_   
_Cause in the daylight we’ll be on our own_   
_But tonight I need to hold you so close._

Castiel looked at Dean, trying to pinpoint the exact moment when this man had become such an integral part of his existence. Was it when he first laid a hand on him in hell? When he pieced together the burning fragments of his broken soul? When, during their first meeting, Cas realized that Dean thought he didn’t deserve to be saved? It could have been any of these, or countless experiences after. Whichever it was, Castiel knew that there was no going back from this. He may not be an expert on human emotions, but Cas had been around for enough millennia to know that what he felt towards the hunter could only be construed as love. He was suddenly wrenched from his reverie when Dean rolled over in his sleep, throwing an arm over Cas’ middle with his head resting on Cas’ shoulder.

_Here I am staring at your perfection_   
_In my arms, so beautiful_   
_The sky is getting bright, the stars are burning out_   
_Somebody slow it down._

Cas smiled, allowing himself to enjoy the moment. However, he knew that he needed to go. The morning hours had crept up on them. After a few minutes, Castiel slowly disentangled himself from Dean as he stood. He already mourned the loss of the comfort that Dean provided, but he had to get back to the angel tablet. Cas bent down and pressed a feather-light kiss to Dean’s forehead. Giving the hunter one last lingering glance, Castiel left with a soft flutter of wings.

_This is way too hard, cause I know_   
_When the sun comes up, I will leave_   
_This is my last glance that will soon be memory._

Not long after he left, Cas smiled as he heard a lone prayer as clear as if the person was standing next to him: “You better get your feathery ass back here soon, Cas. We’ll be waiting. Stay safe.”

Castiel didn’t know when he would be back, but he felt elated knowing that when that day came, he would have a place to come home to.


End file.
